With winter right around the corner, Post Grad Problems has taken it upon itself to rank the best and worst foods to get you through the coldest of seasons. Here they are, from first to worst:
- Chili in a bread bowl. Chili in a bread bowl is how the Lord apologizes for making winter exist. Every time I go snowboarding, we stop at the lodge for lunch and I pound one of these, bowl and all.
- Chili. You need something filling, hot and maybe even a bit spicy. Something that will stop you from getting frostbite and give you something to look forward to so you don’t end it all in mid-March when there’s still snow on the ground. That’s right–chili, the greatest cold-weather food that’s ever been invented.
- Hot Apple Pie. If you’re not already sold on the idea of warm apple pie on a snowy night, I’m not even mad, I’m genuinely worried about you. It’s toasty, tasty, and sweet, and the perfect thing to end your night with as you watch snowflakes delicately flutter past your windowsill. Maybe winter isn’t so bad after all.
- Stew. A good stew should both leave you in a food coma and give you second-degree burns in your mouth when you gamble on a red potato and lose. When you need to walk six blocks to the bars because Ubers prices are surging, only stew will give you the energy to do so.
- Lasagna. Lasagna is basically hot pasta cake, and as much as I regret saying those three words in that order, it is delicious. Italian food is good for the soul.
- Asian Soups. Sorry, Europe: Your soups are good, but Asia takes it to another level. Nothing will get you warmer when it's sub-zero outside.
- European soups. Chicken noodle. Minestrone. Some hearty butternut squash. Hell yeah. There’s a variety for every palette, and not only will these soups warm you up, they’ll delight your taste buds.
- Clam Chowder. Clams, like most seafood, are gross. Creamy soups are gross. Therefore, via the transitive property (the only one I remember), clam chowder is gross. Fight me, New Englanders.
- Porridge. Porridge. Oatmeal. Cream of wheat. Whatever you want to call it, it sucks. It’s either bland, or has so much sugar in it you’ll get a cavity on your first spoonful. It’s way too dense to be a good breakfast, and it looks the same coming out as it does going in.